Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
