that's an acceptable place to lick
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
