And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
