where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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