i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
