My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
