Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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