I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
