When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize