wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize