When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
