I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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