You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
