how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
