Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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