Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
