Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I deserve this hangover.
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