I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
