I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
