so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
