i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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