He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
