So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
