Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just threw up on my dentist
I forgot how hot balto sounded
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
