If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize