Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
