all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
