dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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