everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
