Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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