I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
