how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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