the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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