Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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