There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
