The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
