Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
