I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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