Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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