Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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