the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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