I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
