I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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