hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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