He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
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New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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