I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
