my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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