i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I want to have your abortion
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize