Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Buhtt sex?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
