I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
