Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
