i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
