there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
