I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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