If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
my being single is dangerous.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
