So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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