Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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