Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I smell stomach acid.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
