Porn is love you can see.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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