if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
