We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize