i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
