you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
