how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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